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Raleigh, NC, United States
girl boss, animals, skylines, & makeup

Friday, July 8, 2011

Feeling Very Vanilla

Lately, it's been hard to get motivated.  I am just so tired, anxious, lost, confused, and a little scared of what's to become of my life and myself.  Upon graduating, I guess I wasn't too concerned about life after because I always figured things would just fall from the sky for me.  After a cold dose of reality, and living where I live, I realize that is not going to happen, for anyone, let alone me.  I just want to wake up one day soon full of energy, knowing what I want, and to take on the day like there's no tomorrow.  I've been taking some vitamins, but I still feel sluggish, maybe even more sluggish.  I guess my diet isn't helping either.  I've been thinking about cutting out red meat, and only eating fish (preferably salmon and tuna), and chicken.  But I'm such a carnivore, it would be a big challenge.  There are so many things I want and want to do, I don't know where to start or even how to.  I'm going through that 20's crisis I guess--still not knowing quite who you are...I mean I don't even know what hair color I like best on me, or lipgloss, much less what job, lifestyle, future, etc. is right for me.  It's an identity crisis I guess.  I change so much every year.  The title of this post is "Feeling Very Vanilla"...and Vanilla is my favorite, but I don't want my life to be vanilla.  I want my life to be "Vanilla-Buttercream-Hazlenut-Marshmallow-Chocolate Chip-Sprinkle'd" good.  Yanno?  Haha, that's silly, but how I look at things and feel about them I suppose.  I just feel so boring.  I want to be spicy or something...or have a flair like a British accent--I just adore those!  I want to pull out all the special things about myself and highlight them for myself and everyone.  I just feel so lost like in a little turtle shell lately.  And taking care of this puppy is really hard because I am not very motherly...and I feel he often gets into trouble before I find him.  I just want to be good at everything my mother was.  Hmm...on the bright side, my package from my Aunt B is on its way--she sent me a vintage Louis Vuitton as a graduation I'll be sure to post pictures!  Do any of you loves ever feel like I do in this post?  Regardless, I hope all you beauties have a fabulous day/evening/whatever time it is for you wherever you are... XO

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