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Raleigh, NC, United States
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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

College. The End.

I feel a little sad about my memories from college.  It's hard to describe why though.  There are many different elements and layers as to why I've come to the conclusion that I feel "sad" about it.  There are many moments that I look back on and smile.  I guess the biggest thing that would have changed this overwhelming feeling of sadness when I look back is if I would have graduated with girlfriends.  Me+other girls=disaster mix.  Aka, it doesn't work.  We don't make a tasty cocktail.  The only bestfriend that was a girl that I could ever hold onto and amazingly love to death, and loved to death in return is with Andrea...or Drea as we coined her.  Well, to be honest, I coined her.  I am so grateful for my little Drea...but it would have been nice to have accumulated a few more girlfriends, if not for the sake of having bridesmaids one day.  Who am I kidding--I have no ring and I'm talking bridesmaids here.  My point is I have 5 times more guy friends than girlfriends.  A lot of this is due to my personality I guess.  I'm outgoing occasionally, if not rarely, and am a self declared homebody.  Not many college girls (I went to a superficial Textile school) are homebodies.  Hence I guess, me having 0 girlfriends to call up.  I mean I have maybe one...but we still never really hung out outside of SCHOOL.  Which constitutes a real friendship to me.  Maybe one time we did.  Back to the point, I'm never going to get these years back and I spent mine experimenting with bad boys and doobies, and not really giving a f u c k what anyone thought or had to say to me.  That may not have been the most welcoming approach, but I can sense superficiality from a zillion miles away...and I don't appreciate people of that nature at all.  I guess I wouldn't have came out of college any other way...except maybe more prepared for the "real world".  I just felt a wave of sadness looking at "people I befriended on Facebook from school that I never actually had a real relationship with" and their fun/happy/girlfriend pictures.  I kind of want to find that now, even though I'm not as likely to ever have the chance to befriend so many peers at once ... again.  Just thoughts...nothing amazing to post about today...not that anyone reads this stuff anyway, but it's nice to have this for ME regardless.  XO (to those reading)

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