Positive Vibes Only.

This week so far has been a rough one for me. I've been doing a lot of inner self reflection, (something I usually stray from because it brings about depression), and I kind of had a "brat moment" today. I felt like my efforts were going unnoticed, like I was not of value, I wasn't an asset, and I wasn't as good as everyone else. I felt worthless. I really was doing amazing at staying positive, something that is very very very hard for a SCORPIO woman...let me just say. Hard because as a woman and as a Scorpio woman--I am hella...HELLA...emotional. Sometimes, it's not so easy to "check it at the 'doe" ...if you know what I mean. Sometimes I want to "church stomp" the floor and cry like a little spoiled baby about problems that I'm sure seem crazy trivial to some. But to me--it's like MAJOR. Typing this I'm laughing at myself...things could be MUCH worse. How could I be so spoiled? So self entitled? Why don't I just put on a clean pair of BIG GIRL PANTIES and dust those shoulders off? 

I got a tattoo this weekend. On my FINGER. ...My parents were SO not impressed BTW. It is on my right pointer finger, and it is an Evil Eye. The eye is green, reminiscent of my own colored eyes...and I got it for it's meaning. The Evil Eye is known to warn off evil, designed for self protection. Evil can come in many forms...jealousy, greed, anger, etc. etc. etc. . I got it specifically there to remind myself to not point at others for things that go wrong in my life, to try and practice being the best possible human-being I can be. To make sure that I am protecting myself from evil energy, and to also practice every day sending out positive energy and vibes to all that cross my path. How beautiful is it to have a beautiful spirit? To smile at a stranger at a stoplight...pay if forward anonymously, to genuinely give a damn about your fellow Man. I'll admit, getting a permanent tattoo is ballsy, and a little impulsive. But, at the end of the day...it is my daily reminder. And I am vowing to myself today, at this moment, at this hour, to stay encouraged. To practice the act of love every day to everyone that may cross my path. I want to succeed, but I always want to do so while keeping my character and good heart intact. I hope that this post reaches someone at the same low point I was only a few hours ago, and I hope I've said something or typed something here that will resonate with you to practice the same type of goodwill towards yourself and others. God Bless, and much LOVE.

*Update, this pic was never posted to this original post, but as I'm going through and re-posting old diary entries that I had listed as "drafts" for privacy, I'm updating and posting them again...diary entries are beautiful to read and reflect on in the future.  Here's the tat, and a new finger tat that I never posted about, ha!  Update dated 6/24/19 at 10:26 AM.

 XO Mel