No Love, No Love, Aye

Honestly, DOAF87 is HOME to my soul. I don't care that it's attached to Blogger, I love coming here...where no one knows about it really in my life and I can just vent and talk--and just use this platform as a sort of therapy for my heart and soul. So, that #fuckboy resurfaced recently. MONTHS of NO communication and a fucking random ass text to fuck up my day. Of course it was thrilling to hear from him, he even sent some selfies...and DAMN he looked GOOD. It sucks that I still have these feelings for someone that doesn't obvi give a flying monkey shit about me...I mean he opened up a little about some things he was going through, and he asked about me and was sure as hell very interested in my sexual life and my recent hook ups...he kept asking...not believing me when I told him I was celibate. I've been celibate since HIM. And I guess that's what he wanted to hear, but he sure as hell has been exploring Colorado like it's an end of the world revolution and his dick NEEDS to be bounced on or something. Sorry for the language, but I can be real here...right? 

Honestly I was detached and it felt good hearing from him. Like an old song on the radio that used to be your party jam, it feels good to hear it every now and again--but not every day. It was kind of like that...except the next few days I felt entitled to text him good morning(s) and goodnight(s) and I could tell he was back to his usual self--just temporarily using me when no one else was around to be vulnerable with (because I'm good at listening and helping people through vulnerable times)...but then he's right back to being an ass. He mentioned coming home in September and I was like "aww that's nice, you visiting your mom?" Because...yeah. But then he insinuated he wanted to see me when he comes home. And my mind was like FUUUUCK I've gained weight and been a depressed little bumble bee for months on end now--that gives me like 3 months (barely) to prepare...I just want to blow him away when he sees me. Not that looks are everything, but the more confident I feel, the better off that sitch will be in my opinion. UGHHH why are fuckboys so goddamn fineee? -M